


Bishops Knife Trick

by SlightlyGhostly



Category: Critical Role (Web Series)
Genre: Campaign 1 (Critical Role), Campaign 2 (Critical Role), Gen, No beta so we die like men bitches, So AU it's not even funny, Timeline What Timeline, What if the twins never went to Stilben?, Whitestone (Critical Role), Zadash
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-05-21
Updated: 2019-05-21
Packaged: 2020-03-09 01:37:36
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,447
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18906862
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SlightlyGhostly/pseuds/SlightlyGhostly
Summary: “Cassandra and Percival De Rolo.” Beau had told them. “The original De Rolos settled in Whitestone after a shipwreck in Port Damali then built it from the ground up. Rumor has it that the Briarwood’s whipped out their whole family. Sometime last year, they vanished from Whitestone and no one knows why. All we know is that a group called Vox Machina was involved, as well as Cassandra and Percival. Caleb and I couldn’t find much more on Whitestone, just those two names. News from Tal’Dorei doesn’t exactly travel fast these days. Dragons and all.” Vax snorted, watching as the red-haired wizard lifted his nose from the book in his lap to hiss at the monk next to him.“Quite right, darling,” Vex said. “We appreciate it greatly.”





	Bishops Knife Trick

**Author's Note:**

> It should be immediately said that this is part of a larger plot I'm working on and wanted to test run. If you are not one for cannon-divergences, then this is not the story for you. For those of you who enjoy that kind of thing, please let me know if I should continue this. I would love feedback
> 
> Some back story: Instead of going to Stilben, the twins head to Wildemount. The campaign timelines are converged for this, but the Mighty Nein are not yet together and are split differently. Vax and the Raven Queen are already in talks, and she is leading him differently than canon, which I will hopefully explain in a later one shot.

Vax’s boots padded silently on the plush carpet, his head bowed and thieves tools in his hand. 

“Vax’ildan,” he jumped, the voice in his ear startling him. “Hurry it up will you.” Vex’s voice drifted through their charmed earrings. He rolled his eyes, not responding. It was typical of his sister to rush his end. It could take Vex’ahlia  _ months _ to track down a lead, but as soon as it came time for Vax to get involved it was all speed, speed, speed. He huffed and returned focus to the room. Decorated in ornate gold and varying whites, the room was clearly designed to impress. Well, of course, it was; this was a castle and an old one if whispers were to be believed. 

“Cassandra and Percival De Rolo.” Beau had told them. “The original De Rolos settled in Whitestone after a shipwreck in Port Damali then built it from the ground up. Rumor has it that the Briarwood’s whipped out their whole family. Sometime last year, they vanished from Whitestone and no one knows why. All we know is that a group called Vox Machina was involved, as well as Cassandra and Percival. Caleb and I couldn’t find much more on Whitestone, just those two names. News from Tal’Dorei doesn’t exactly travel fast these days. Dragons and all.” Vax snorted, watching as the red-haired wizard lifted his nose from the book in his lap to hiss at the monk next to him.

“Quite right, darling,” Vex said. “We appreciate it greatly.” The twins had met the strange band of travelers while on the hunt for The Gentleman, a head of the Myriad who had a particular interest in magical weapons. Walking into the Evening Nip, they were immediately drawn into a fight club where they were quickly paired up against what had then appeared to be a small halfling girl and a very loud human. They had gone into the fight underestimating their opponents, which was soon corrected as Beau whipped out some of her “monk shit” and almost beat them. Almost. After they had overheard them talking about their next intel gathering mission for The Gentleman and, in typical Vax and Vex fashion, threatened them into giving up their knowledge on everything Whitestone and the legendary artifacts. After convincing the pair that they knew nothing, the trio promised to look into it for them. The rest is history. Sort of. 

“ _ Nein _ , we did nothing. If you insist on going on a suicide mission into the land of magic sucking orbs and fucking  _ ancient dragons _ then the least we can do is make sure you have something of a direction.  _ Sie sind beide verdammte Idioten _ .” The Zemnian was mostly muttered to the bangle cat in the lap of the goblin next to him, but Vax thought he could get the gist. 

“Nonetheless old man,” Vax paused to smirked at the renewed grumbling from Caleb, “You saved us hours of wandering around, so thank you.” 

“Just… Try to send word when you find what you are looking for, ok? We don’t make many fri-allies so it will be nice to know if you make it out alive or not.” The squeaky voice was slightly muffled behind the porcelain mask, and Vax could feel his sister practically melt beside him. 

“Of course Nott, we will. But don’t worry about us dear, we will be fine. We always are.” She smiled at the goblin, bending down to straighten her hood. “If you need anything, don’t hesitate to send word.” They bid their farewells and began the long and surprisingly uneventful journey from Zadash to Whitestone. They had expected to meet dragon carnage on the way, but in the end, they saw nothing. Once in Whitestone, it had taken them three more days to track down someone from the castle. They once again found luck in a tavern, where a goliath named Grog regaled them with the tales of his great defeat of the evil Briarwoods.

“All by yourself big guy? That’s impressive.” Vax had flirted mildly.

“‘Course not, Pike and Scanlan and Percy-” here, the twins met eyes. “-And Kima and Allura and Gilmore. They helped too. Kinda. It was mostly me though.” Ale sloshed out of what had to have been the sixth tankard they had provided to loosen the man’s tongue.

“Percy… I could have sworn I had heard that name before…” Vex leaned forward.

“Percival Freckelson Von… What the fuck ever De Rolo III. Used to be more fun, spends all his time holed up in the castle now with Scanlan.” 

“Well, thank you, Grand… what was it again?”

“Poobah. But keep it quiet, I don’t want everyone around here treating me like fuckin’ royalty or nothin’.” Vax grinned.

“Understood, Grand Poobah. Have a good night, friend.” 

“Well, that was productive.” Vex dusted off her cloak.

“Very. To the castle then?” 

“To the castle.” They had camped far away from Castle Whitestone that night and spent the whole next day watching and listening. In typical form, they had both said “fuck it” and come to the conclusion that if they were going to be caught, it was better to be imprisoned now rather than later. 

“Honestly Vax! It’s freezing out here.” Vex whined. He was not too sure what Vex expected him to do; being stealthy as fuck took time. It took three more Vex complaints before Vax got to somewhere promising. So far, Vax had been highly unimpressed with the guards in Castle Whitestone. He had snuck past the guards posted at the front no problem and had yet to encounter another. This was what most likely made him cocky enough to make his mistake. 

In their day of recon, the twins had learned of a workshop in the castle, apparently for the “Lord De Rolo”. Vex had been the one to hear of it first, observing a delivery of several barrels from a shop in Vasselheim. The servant that had met the cart had lamented about the lord holding himself up in the workshop all week. 

“It feels like this is too easy.” Vax had said, braiding his hair back. 

“Or maybe we are just that good.” Vex snarked over the earring.

“Probably not though.”

“Hm, probably not.”

Vax rounded the corner, feeling the temperature rise immediately. He paused, listening, but eventually decided that it was clear. He reached up and touched the earring.

“I think I found it.” He breathed.

“Well then go in,” Vex said, disbelieving that her idiot brother was wasting time.

“I’m going, for the love of-” Vax tiptoed up to the door, not noticing the stream of light that came from underneath. He reached up, turning the knob slowly, but finding it locked. With a grin, he began to pick the lock, wincing when the rake makes a particularly loud clicking in the otherwise silent hall. He exhaled in victory as he feels the last pin give way and turns the knob, pushing the door open slowly. Now, he notices that there are still candles lit in the room and he freezes, listening again. He just barely hears the clicking of metal before his shoulder begins screaming in pain. Only by the Raven Queen’s mercy does he manage to keep quiet, swiftly ducking behind the wall and looking down, expecting to see a crossbow bolt, but instead seeing nothing but the weeping wound in his shoulder.

“Oh fuck.” He hisses, using his other hand to reach the earring. “Vex, I-” 

“I know you’re there.” A voice call from the room. Vax winces, cursing the fact that he didn’t close the door as he darted away.

“Well obviously.” Vax scoffed. “Not sure you would have hit me otherwise.” Meanwhile, Vex was talking his ear off, asking for an update, or at the very least their emergency code word, but Vax was already afraid that he had given her away with his first attempt to call for help. 

“Did you really think sneaking in here would be so easy?” The smug tone grated on Vax’s nerves, and he could feel his sharp tongue aching to lash out.

“It was like a stroll in the park before now, I'm afraid.” He was starting to make his way to a standing position, but suddenly heard the heavy boot steps of his opponent coming closer and set back, choosing instead to draw a dagger. 

“Yes, well, we sent most of our good soldiers to Fort-” he cuts himself off suddenly and Vax can tell he had been about to reveal something he shouldn’t have. The man comes around the corner and Vax almost groans. A man with blindingly white hair, a stubbly beard and a pair of dual lensed glasses in front of blue eyes turns the corner ( _ of course, he’s gorgeous. Why wouldn’t he be?) _ holding a metal device of some sort. Vax watches as he uses his thumb to pull back a lever of some kind and it makes a noise that he is now familiar with. “Now, you are going to tell me why you are here.”

“Well, let’s see. First, I asked a merry band of weirdos about any information on Whitestone. They told me some stuff. Then I walked for literal days to get here, it was awful by the way. Then I met this very fun big man. He also told me some stuff. And now I’m here.” The man seems to sigh.

“I’m looking for a little more information than that.” The device raises until Vax is looking directly into its eye.

“I’m not sure what you want to know. I was in Zadash, looking for a weapon. A god told me about it you see-” a growl cuts him off, and the man is suddenly much closer, pushing the device into his wounded shoulder. Vax opens his mouth in a soundless scream as fire hot pain shoots all the way down to his toes. 

“What god?” The man is staring into his soul now, those blue eyes now close enough for Vax to study. He was briefly concerned for the amount of blood he is loosing but decided it was largely unimportant. 

“The Raven Queen.” His own voice was starting to sound far away, but he was aware enough to register the look of confusion on the icy man’s face. 

“I… am not familiar. What weapon-?” Vax’s head lulled to the side, suddenly too heavy for his neck to keep up. “Oh gods, ok.” The man sighed in exasperation, reaching out for Vax’s limp form and lifting him into his arms. As he is pulled up, the dagger falls from his grasp, clanging on the ground. The man scoffs in amusement and kicks the dagger into the room.

“Hm, knight in shining armor…” Vax slurred as he is carried into the warm room. For what little he is able to comprehend, they were right in assuming this was the workshop. Right as he starts to observe, his attention is caught by something else.

“Vax’ildan, it’s been 2 minutes, I’m coming in.” Vex sounds anxious, and Vax is honestly proud that she managed to abstain for this long.

“Not good.” He mumbles and jolts as he is deposited on a table. The man moves away to a shelf, rifling through some glass bottles, grabbing one and returning. He uncorks what Vax recognizes as a basic healing potion, and offers it to him. He takes it gratefully and sighs in relief.

“So here’s the thing,” Vax says, “I have a sister, and she is on the way into the castle and I will tell you everything you need to know if you just don’t hurt her, ok?” This comes out in a rush and the man stares at him. Vax wonders if he is still loopy from the blood loss because the man looks like he’s about to laugh.

“Alright then. Let’s go retrieve her.” Vax reaches up to his ear.

“Vex, we are in a bit of a pickle, dear.”

“Vax! Where did you go? What happened?”

“I got caught. But not to worry, we are coming to get you now.”

“Wait, what? Vax? Vax’ildan?” The man is looking at him again, that same amused expression returning but his hand was resting on the side of his hip, where Vax had seen him stash the device before.

“Are you insane?” He asked and Vax chuckled.

“Yes. Now let's go. She will be very worried.” The man looks at him for a bit longer then starts walking, leaving Vax to jump off the table and run to catch up. As he passes, he pockets his fallen dagger, thrilled but confused at the lack of concern for it from the man. As they walk, Vax peppers him with questions, but he answers none of them, not saying a word until they reach the front gate, where Vax had made his way in earlier. 

“Hello.” He says. Both men turn their way and bow.

“Lord De Rolo.” One of them says, and Vax grins at one of his questions being answered indirectly. 

“This man just snuck in here, all the way down to the basement. Anything to say for yourselves?” Vax watches the two men squirm.

“Now hold on darling, you can’t let my brother take all the credit. I got by too.” The voice comes from behind them and Vax grimaces as both guards and Lord De Rolo pull their weapons on his sister.

“I thought I told you to wait,” Vax says, scowling.

“When have I ever listened to you, brother?” Vex emerges from her shadows, bow strung and at the ready. “Call off the dogs, De Rolo. I have a feeling I’m a better shot.” She winks at him, and Vax sighs. This was why Vex was supposed to deal with the people. She puts pieces together far quicker then he does. 

“You broke into my house, and expect me to simply bend to your will?”

“Simple answer yes,” Vax says. “The long answer is that we have some information you might be interested in. About a ziggurat, a siphon, and a god.” Percival’s head whips towards him, and Vax grins. “All we ask for in exchange is a dagger you may have in your possession and perhaps an open line of communication should we need to work together again one day.” Percival looks between the twins for a moment, trying to decide whether they were fucking with him or not, then sighs.

“I suppose there is nothing left to lose. Come, we will go to the war room.” Percival storms off and the twins hurry to catch up, subtly fist bumping for a disaster temporarily averted. 


End file.
